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written by Michele G. Fava MS CCC-SLP

During these times of physical distancing and sometimes social isolation, not to mention a multitude of ever-changing emotions, singing can be a powerful antidote and support.  It’s an opportunity to accompany the feelings that are below the surface or perhaps bursting through in unhelpful ways or behaviors.

I like when my song matches my mood.  Sometimes it just arises, the right song in the right moment to acknowledge the way I am feeling. Even to accentuate it. I find this very powerful and healing. It’s an honoring of sorts. And when that happens, there is typically a perceived shift in mood. Sometimes it is just a small shift – a change in my body’s response to stress, a feeling of calm perhaps resulting in a sense of clarity, conviction, hope, or relaxation. I’m not trying to create any of these emotions; they just emerge as if from the effects of a good medicine or like a gift from the giver of song.

Singing allows us to connect with how we really feel, whether we sing along with a recording, with our family or neighbors (even out windows to one another) or to ourselves. It can be powerful when a song just arises out of our experience right in the moment. This expression helps move emotions through in a healthy way, regulating our nervous system. Sometimes we just need to express how we feel in song rather than suppressing or avoiding feelings. The saying “what you resist persists” is a truism that applies here and so embracing the emotion through song can be an easier way to meet and be with the feeling.

I used to have “arguments” in an operatic voice with my daughter to help the frustration transform and lighten with silliness. We would sing things like: “you need to do your chores…brush your teeth once more…” and she would answer back in her own operatic voice “no I won’t this time…I am busy leave me alone”. It was hard to be really mad when we communicated through silly song.  I invite you, when you get frustrated, scared or sad with the difficult news or your circumstance or when you feel a bit of gratitude: put it in song. The other day I felt so glad to be in my very comfortable pajamas. I had to express all of that joy and so it literally came out in song- “I love my pajamas; they feel so good!” which I kept singing as I delighted in the felt sense of my plush and cozy pj’s.

Physiologically we benefit from singing. The act of singing allows our exhalation to extend longer, promoting increased oxygenation.  As a result, we may feel a decrease in anxiety and an increase in alertness and energy.  There is evidence that singing can boost your immune system and reduce stress hormones. Breath is the foundation of singing as air is moved out of the lungs and toward the vocal folds by the coordinated action of the diaphragm, abdominal muscles, chest muscles and rib cage. As the airstream passes through our vocal cords (folds) they vibrate creating a buzzing sound. This buzzy sound is then amplified and modified by the resonating cavities (throat, mouth, nasal passages) and then formed into sounds and words when articulated via the tongue, soft palate and lips. Resonance and vibration that occurs during singing can lead to qualities such as intuition, instinct, compassion, love and overall connection and spiritual well-being.

Your voice as an instrument for health and healing: Part 2 will focus on how the physiology of singing can transform our experience. Stay tuned for more on sound and spirit.

Michele G. Fava Biography + Contact Info.

Fear serves a useful biological function.

If we look back over the course of our lives, if we hadn’t reacted with appropriate fear to a threat we might have been hurt or injured, or worse, died.  Feelings of fear initiate our response to protect ourselves from danger: to jump out of the way of a moving car, to grab a child before they touch a hot pot on the stove. Fear is a normal and necessary survival response to danger.

We are living with fear in our battle with Covid-19.  Many of us are fearful about catching the virus and have disquieting thoughts about death. We are uncertain about our financial futures and have profound concerns about our friends and families. These are sobering concerns which deserve careful thought.

Living in a state of fear, however is debilitating psychologically and physically. So what are our options? How do we self-regulate when we are exposed to bad news daily? How do we muster our energies and not succumb to fear if we have been physically exposed to the virus in order to fight it mentally and physically?

It is difficult to orient and manage fear in the face of an unseen threat:

The fear we may feel facing Covid-19 has real causes.  Fear is manageable when we can orient to the threat, like avoiding the growling dog;  but this is a threat we cannot see, smell, hear, or touch, which has lethal potential for a few of us.

Think about scary movies- many revolve around a lurking danger, with chilling music announcing the presence of a menacing force. Hollywood knows what neurologists know, our   fear is heightened when we feel vulnerable to an invisible threat.  We don’t know how to fight or flee from an airborne virus any more than the heroine knows how to get away from the movie-ghost.

In response to these fears, it is normal to experience emotions as sadness, helplessness, intense irritability, weariness, distrust, loneliness, and fear of dying. At time these feelings may be overwhelming.

Turning off the Fear Response

Fear is experienced in the body as well as the mind. For this reason we need to find ways to calm our bodies in order to help quiet our thoughts. Stated differently, if we can calm our body we can help calm our mind. Below are three ways to calm the body.

Exercise One: Orienting the Nervous System to Safety in 3 Minutes

Sitting quietly, take a full minute for each exercise…

Listen: What do you hear? Let the sound come to you.

Activate your smell and taste: What do you notice?

Orient in space:  What do you see? – turning your head fully left and right.  What do you notice in your environment?

Exercise Two: Affirming our own Life Force

Try filling 2 plastic bottles (maybe water bottles) half full with water. Start swinging your arms slowly, letting the sloshing sound of the water increase as you move a bit faster. Start and stop this a few times. Try adding your voice or a song as your arms swing.

Why? We are moving the body out of hypervigilance (caused by fear) into a sense of life and vitality. It is in feeling our own life force that we shift from feeling fearful to feeling whole and alive.

Exercise Three: Fear is diminished with interpersonal contact

We know from researchers like Steven Porges that we can find a sense of well-being through contact with people we love and trust. Even though we may not be physically in the room with that person, we can resonate with another when we can see his or her face and hear their voice through such platforms as Zoom, Facebook, or Doxy.me

Step 4: Addressing fears about our Mortality

Covid -19 awakens thoughts about death which were likely in the background when we were leading busy lives. We worry for ourselves and for people we love. Some of us have already lost someone important to us.

Can you accept that thoughts about dying are conflictual but a necessary at this time? If we can face our fears, they have less power. Pushing them down only makes them stronger. For some, this may be a time to explore spiritual issues.  There are many resources to do this. If you email me at the email address below, I can direct you towards some resources.

Secondly, think back to one of the toughest times in your life. What qualities within you got you through? Remind yourself when you are stressed that you still have those qualities. Know that you will develop new and meaningful strengths as we go through this time together.

Finally, please know that I am a resource should you want help with any of these steps.

You can reach me at drjanemoffett@gmail.com or visit my website drjanedmoffett.com for more information and resources.

written by Barbara Holtzman

The Chinese symbol for the word “crisis” is a combination of 2 other symbols – “danger” and “opportunity.” We are well aware of the dangers of this time we are living in. But are we taking advantage of the opportunity?

Many people are using this self-quarantine to connect with friends, watch movies, and eat a lot of junk food. I agree that we need to enjoy ourselves, if our circumstances are fortunate enough that we are able. I too am enjoying connecting with friends and family and getting a lot of projects done, in addition to my work. But, if we are just keeping ourselves busy, in my opinion, we are missing a great opportunity.

What is the opportunity? To slow down and be fully present. To feel fully alive.

You know those moments of presence– noticing the vibrant color of a flower, looking into the eyes of a loved one, the exquisiteness of that first bite of chocolate. But it’s a moment and soon enough, we’re busy “doing.” The next project, surfing the internet, or getting lost in thought. Or that delicious bite of chocolate, if we’re not savoring it, has turned into a mindless binge.

Many people have told me that they’re appreciating the calm that comes from slowing down. It allows us to notice – not just the trees budding and the crocuses popping up, but everything. Experiencing appreciation for being warm and cozy while a rainstorm rages outside. Experiencing the joy of connection with our friends and family. Feeling the grief of seeing images of doctors and nurses in Covid 19 combat uniform. Experiencing the fear triggered by reading of the increasing numbers of cases of the virus. Feeling all of it. Not distracting ourselves from it or getting lost in our thoughts about what’s happening. Feeling it in our bodies and hearts – deeply, fully, and letting it move through us, as we hold our experience with awareness and compassion.

How can we bear this? We’ve spent a lifetime avoiding our feelings. We numb with food and alcohol. We distract with TV and internet and just being busy. Our compulsive behaviors, designed to shift us away from pain– usually without our even being aware of it. What’s the harm of it? Maybe none. Unless we want to feel alive while we are still alive.

A few days ago, I noticed that I was feeling numb. Depressed. Instead of reaching for my phone or looking for something to eat – a distraction – I decided to just sit with it. I didn’t try to “figure it out” – my old way of coping. I just sat and paid attention to what I was feeling. And I became aware of grief, very deep grief. And then the sobs arose, crested, and passed. And I felt tired but no longer numb. I felt like myself again.

I’m using this quarantine retreat to slow down and be present to myself. To become more aware of what I’m feeling, wanting, needing. Instead of constantly distracting myself with busyness.

Mindfulness is even helping me keep myself safe. I now notice the itch on my nose or the irritation in my eye and give myself a moment to pause to simply experience the uncomfortable sensation. And just like my sitting with the grief, the sensation builds, crests, and passes – and I don’t have to scratch! I’m practicing using mindfulness to keep myself safe from the virus by learning how to stop touching my face!

There are many ways to learn and practice mindfulness. Simply noticing the sensations of the water, the lather of the soap as we shower, as we wash our hands. If you’d like instruction, there are free courses online – so many resources now available.

I’d like to offer one of my own. I have an mp3 version of my CD that accompanies my book “Conscious Eating, Conscious Living; A Practical Guide to Making Peace with Food & Your Body.” There are 5 guided meditations, including “Coping with Feelings without Using Food” and a “Conscious Eating” experience. I’d like to offer it to you as a gift to help you practice. (Email me at barbara@barbaraholtzman.net and I will send it to you.)

It’s an opportunity to learn how to be with your emotions without needing to distract or numb or medicate. To learn how to take a pause between the urge for food (or the itch on your nose) and the old, automatic reaction. And in that pause, to discover the freedom that comes with being able to make a choice.

In a few days, I will post another article with more tips on how we can use this opportunity to change our relationship with food. Until then, take good care of yourself – and notice and appreciate everything.

By Barbara L Holtzman, MSW, LICSW, Psychotherapist, Lifestyle Coach, & Author of “Conscious Eating, Conscious Living; A Practical Guide to Making Peace with Food & Your Body”

written by Paula Sager

Paula Sager shares a contemplative practice of embodied awareness in solidarity with all who are quarantined or choosing to stay safe in place. If you don’t have access to a candle or matches, you can substitute the moon, or light coming through a window, or an empty chair, or a little stone, or …

Preparing a Space

Consider creating a space where you are living or staying that can support your health and inner life through this time of so much uncertainty. You don’t need much room—a chair, a small table in a corner, a mantel, a surface area to place a candle and matches, plus any objects you feel intuitively drawn to include.

Clear away any clutter or easy to move extra furniture so, if possible, you have a clean, clear space in which you can be free to move or lie down. In this practice, you will be sitting or standing but there may be other times when you feel drawn to move in this space. Notice that the process of preparing such a space is already serving your intention for greater clarity and wellbeing. Notice in your preparations, when the moment comes that you inwardly recognize the space is ready for you.

Lighting a Candle

Choose a time when you can have about 15 minutes of uninterrupted time in this space. Bring a chair or stand close to the place you have set your candle and take a moment to feel yourself arriving here, not knowing what exactly will happen. Take a match and light the candle.

For the next few minutes bring all your attention to the candle.
With a soft gaze notice how you see the flame, it’s shape, it’s colors, how it moves or becomes still, does the light of the flame brighten or dim? Not knowing what you’ll notice next, see where your attention is drawn as you simply stay with your experience of the flame.

When you’re ready, close your eyes and notice how you can bring this same quality of gentle attention to your inner experience…not knowing what you’ll discover.

Maybe you notice the movement of your breath, the feeling of breathing in…breathing out…the rhythm of your breath. Maybe you feel the support of the chair you’re sitting in, or the floor you’re standing on. Notice what this support feels like through your feet or your hips. Maybe you’re drawn to sensation in some part of your body.

Notice how your attention is free to move anywhere in your body…notice you can trust the movement of your attention, not knowing how or why this can happen. Simply notice the way your own attention is present with you, a kind of inner light, illuminating what is here for you to experience.

The Space Between

When you feel ready, still with your eyes closed, can you again become aware of the candle? Notice you can sense the candle’s presence even without looking, even while staying with your own inner experience. The candle, there where it is…You, here where you are. Notice how your attention is free to move between a sense of being separate from the candle and a sense of being with the candle. And now feel what it’s like to invite a sense of the candle returning your gaze. Inviting your awareness to move freely between seeing the flame and being seen by the flame.

Without knowing how or why it happens, notice that the space between you and the flame comes alive.

Notice how the space between is a space of emptiness, a space of not knowing, a space of receptivity, a space of welcoming. Welcoming vulnerability, welcoming inner strength, welcoming whatever is here to be more known. What is this space of the unknown welcoming in you in this moment?

As you prepare to close this practice of befriending the unknown, return to the flame…with gratitude for its light, for its companionship. When you are ready, you can blow out the candle and prepare to return to the rest of your day or evening.

Learn more about Paula and her work at Three Stone Studio